I’m Going To Reno and Tahoe!!!! (and I am a gambling addict)
I have a tour coming up in September to Reno and Tahoe 9/12/26-9/16/26 and I am excited as all hell, but to be perfectly honest… a little nervous too. Probably not why you’re thinking. Not because of business, oh no. It’s because I am an addict. I’m about to get really honest with all of you. I am not just the person that walks into a casino and can’t stop even when I really should. I am not just a gambling addict. I am the addict that has the potential to be addicted to just about anything. I have that addictive personality that nobody wants.
Let’s go back in time… I have always enjoyed my weed. Anyone who knows me, knows that little fact. But what I don’t often disclose is the addiction I have to cocaine. I haven’t indulged since 2017, and I know not to say “never again”. That’s failure in a nutshell. But in the same fashion I kicked cigarettes, I kicked cocaine and now kicking gambling. It’s pretty simple, since I was not motivated by going to meetings or reading the Big Book religiously, (although I did read it cover to cover), it just wasn’t working for me, so I employed my own methods to kick ugly habits. i know this sounds ridiculous, but its worked before and I’m confident it will work on gambling. Here it is… I wrote myself letters… here’s the one for cigarettes. Followed by cocaine and lastly the letter that will save me in Reno.
Dear Lindsay,
We go way back, so let me cut to the chase: I started smoking when I was so young because I thought it made me look grown-up, cool and I liked the way it felt. And now as I attempt to rid myself of this disgusting habit, I know that it will not make me grown up, but it will kill me. I do not like the way it makes me look. I’m embarrassed to be a smoker. It stinks and it makes me feel weak that I am still buying these fuck-sticks. I don’t want to do this anymore.
Dear Lindsay,
It worked with cigarettes, let’s remove cocaine use from my resume.
I started doing coke because I thought it made me stand out. I thought it made me one of the cool kids. I thought it made me feel good, be motivated, and I thought I was more fun to be around. But none of this is true. If I stood out, it was that of a druggie. I don’t want to be a cool kid if cocaine is the ticket. My relationship with cocaine is ugly. I am not more social, or fun because I’m the person that is watching for the plate of cocaine to come my way again. I’m not caring about the conversation, in fact I just want to be alone with my addiction.
No. No I do not. I will look at this letter to myself everytime it comes up to partake. I don’t want my nose to hurt. I don’t want to not be able to sleep. I don’t want to spend another dollar on blow. I will deliberate on the topic for exactly no time whatsoever. I do not want cocaine in my life. I want to be free. God willing.
Dear Lindsay,
Look around the casino. Do the people look stoked to be losing their money? Are you focusing on the few wins instead of the multitude of losses? Are you going to Reno to spend the money you earn or are you going to Reno to earn, and walk away with it? You know the answer. And just like smoking, coking, and no joking- no more gambling.
Wish me luck! Wish me success! And if you can relate to any of what I said, I hope my nerdy method works for you too. Take care all.
